Falling in love is easy
... but getting married is hard. At least that's my take on the social life situation of people around my age.
I was observing recently that I haven't received any wedding invitations from people I knew, either from RI or RJ. But then in the space of 1 month I got 1 invite and 2 "sound-outs". The wedding invite was from Tsai Liming, RI classmate (congrats to him... or should I say condolences?) whose wedding is next week. The other 2 are from Serjin and Melvin, RJ class-mates, who are getting married at the end of the year.
I actually managed to squeeze a bit of the background stories from them. For Liming, he actually only went out with Joey for a year before he proposed. They had been planning the wedding for 2 years until now. Serjin went out with his girlfriend for about 5 years before proposing, and Melvin knew his for 6 years. The stories are similar in a certain respect, in that they are only getting married 1 to 2 years after working. In the reality of money-conscious Singapore, most couples don't get married until they can get a flat, or be able to afford one. Which is quite common sense, since no couple would like to live with their parents, if they had a choice. And with Liming, he has pretty well-to-do parents (I dunno about his wages so can't comment), Serjin and Melvin are top scholars, so their finances are pretty secure, so all 3 of them are pretty financially secure to be able to get their own place and get married. And in comparision, I know of a couple of friends who have had girlfriends for quite a while, but not as well-off, and nothing heard from them in terms of wedding invitations.
So my observation if the guy, at around 26 or 27, if you are not getting married, its probably because you haven't established yourself financially, or are still busy focusing on your career. It will probably be around 30-31, before I see the next round of wedding invitations. In traditionally minded Singapore, unless the girl has rich parents, I haven't heard of a more financially successful woman getting married to a less successful guy. So the onus is all on the guy really, to do well in his career, to be able to afford a decent standard of living for him and the girl before he is able to get married, or even be eligible.
Falling in love... its all Hollywood stuff - about ideals, personality match, romance... but then reality hits you in the face with a stack of unpaid mortages and bills. I am in an way envious of the 3 guys - they have found that someone special and are able to plan out, quite predictably, how their lives would pan out. At the same time (from observations from married couples), marriage can be a chain that ties you down from fulfilling certain dreams. So, given the current realities, I will be preparing to get more ang pows during Chinese New Year for at least a few more years to come.
I was observing recently that I haven't received any wedding invitations from people I knew, either from RI or RJ. But then in the space of 1 month I got 1 invite and 2 "sound-outs". The wedding invite was from Tsai Liming, RI classmate (congrats to him... or should I say condolences?) whose wedding is next week. The other 2 are from Serjin and Melvin, RJ class-mates, who are getting married at the end of the year.
I actually managed to squeeze a bit of the background stories from them. For Liming, he actually only went out with Joey for a year before he proposed. They had been planning the wedding for 2 years until now. Serjin went out with his girlfriend for about 5 years before proposing, and Melvin knew his for 6 years. The stories are similar in a certain respect, in that they are only getting married 1 to 2 years after working. In the reality of money-conscious Singapore, most couples don't get married until they can get a flat, or be able to afford one. Which is quite common sense, since no couple would like to live with their parents, if they had a choice. And with Liming, he has pretty well-to-do parents (I dunno about his wages so can't comment), Serjin and Melvin are top scholars, so their finances are pretty secure, so all 3 of them are pretty financially secure to be able to get their own place and get married. And in comparision, I know of a couple of friends who have had girlfriends for quite a while, but not as well-off, and nothing heard from them in terms of wedding invitations.
So my observation if the guy, at around 26 or 27, if you are not getting married, its probably because you haven't established yourself financially, or are still busy focusing on your career. It will probably be around 30-31, before I see the next round of wedding invitations. In traditionally minded Singapore, unless the girl has rich parents, I haven't heard of a more financially successful woman getting married to a less successful guy. So the onus is all on the guy really, to do well in his career, to be able to afford a decent standard of living for him and the girl before he is able to get married, or even be eligible.
Falling in love... its all Hollywood stuff - about ideals, personality match, romance... but then reality hits you in the face with a stack of unpaid mortages and bills. I am in an way envious of the 3 guys - they have found that someone special and are able to plan out, quite predictably, how their lives would pan out. At the same time (from observations from married couples), marriage can be a chain that ties you down from fulfilling certain dreams. So, given the current realities, I will be preparing to get more ang pows during Chinese New Year for at least a few more years to come.
posted by Kevin at 5:30 PM
2 Comments:
Hmm....actually once you get a "stable" enough job, getting an apartment is easy. As long as you're willing to be realistic of course(4 room HDB).
I think its often a combo of both housing and the wedding itself that delays. Both easily add up to $20-30K cash upfront. 2 years of savings + bonuses. This needs planning and financial discipline from early, else I'm sure we know what most ppl do with their money - clubbing, cars, gadgets, shopping, tours etc etc.
Unless like you said, the parents are quite well-to-do and offered to sponsor for their child's expenses.
OR...if its a shotgun hahaha!
But i seriously believe MOST guys would settle down by 30.
yeah true... prob the downpayment can be easy to cover... but don't forget the renovation and furnishings(another 15 - 30K) ... then after that its the monthly loan repayments, bills etc... ouch!
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